when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
