Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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