Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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