I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
