she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
