did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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