I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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