i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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