He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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