I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
