just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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