I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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