My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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