I think i peed on brittanys purse
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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