First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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