There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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