hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
