I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
