Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
