my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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