half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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