so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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