i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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