I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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