they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
