Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My penis needs a shock collar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
