I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
