is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
