lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
