I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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