I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
