Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
