It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
