I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
