Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
