She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
