I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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