i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
