That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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