just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
