I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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