The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
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It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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