Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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