We won't sleep together?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
