Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
