it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Congratulations! We have a period
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
