is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
