My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
