I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize