I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
