It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
