I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
