lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sext me about skeletons
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
