i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
