honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
