she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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