Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize