That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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