A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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