so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
