I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
