drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
