So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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