I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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